What I realized about life is that it’s a constant journey of ups and downs, adjustments, changes, and lessons. Understanding that is very crucial when creating a self-care routine that works. Instead of being too hard on yourself, it helps to have practices to rely on to get through if not back to yourself. The more you break yourself down, the harder it is to build yourself up. I like to think the phrase “life be lifin’” comes with understanding and acceptance, but not defeat. It’s a constant flow. Things will happen, but how do you recover? How do you continue to flow through life? These are questions I asked myself for the past year. Although it took me a while to figure it out, I found practices that actually work. With that being said, here’s the routine that’s helping me heal and build myself up.
Therapy
Some people may feel they don’t need this, so I’ll say different strokes for different folks. Who am I to judge? However, if you’re battling the many struggles life throws at you, I’d consider trying it.
Therapy is not easy by any means. It takes time to find the right therapist for you, open up, and be able to get through the sessions. To be transparent, there was a lot of trauma I forgot I had because I buried it so deeply. It’s tough for sure and my experience came with plenty of trials and tribulations, nevertheless, I vowed to see it through. I held onto the fact that although expressing and processing things can be hard, it does feel good in the end.
Every session I have feels refreshing, even if it’s a tough one. I feel validated, but there’s still a lot to learn. I feel safe to express myself, I really believe I have a great therapist who explains things to me, while respectfully checking me.
Therapy is a helpful way for me to get to the root of the problems I’m facing, from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and overall changes I’m experiencing in life. It helps me create solutions and practices tailored to me. Therapy also helps create necessary boundaries, develop coping skills, and gain peace.
Although some of us have a village of friends and family to go to with our problems, seeking help from a therapist is a different experience. It’s an unbiased and nonjudgmental environment to get vulnerable and express yourself. Plus, a therapist is trained and taught to help YOU, the right one may be a life-changing experience.
Affirmations
I’ll admit I underestimated the power of affirmations. Affirmations, just like manifestations, affirm who I am and want to be. Think about verbal memorization, if you say it enough it will literally be stuck in your head. Once the idea and perception of yourself are engraved in your mind, you have no choice but to believe it.
Affirmations don’t sound effective but it’s a subtle change in how you view yourself. I’ve always had a habit of putting post-its on my mirror but to really put it in my face, I’ve also added it to my phone Home Screen. One other habit I formed was adding affirmations to my daily journaling, which leads me to my next healing practice…
Journaling
This has been a game-changer for real! Journaling never felt helpful to me. I would fish for things to write about and none of it makes sense. It read like a teenage diary, to be honest. I say all that to say I had no direction and I needed some type of prompt.
I ended up purchasing Acts of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant. This book admittedly changed the game for me as I continue to heal. Not only was I prompted to do a reflection, but there are quotes, affirmations, and excerpts to give me more insight into my reflections.
I journal with ease every day. I gain more lucidity with my thoughts and emotions. If I miss an entry, I don’t beat myself up about it, I’ll just do it the next day. There are no rules, just growth. Don’t get me wrong, I still write the things that are happening in my life, but the prompts also keep me focused on my growth and the things I may not have thought about.
Letting Light Into My Life
Literally letting light into my apartment has been very effective in changing my mood. I’m a girl who loves darkness. I have blackout curtains and can’t sleep with any other light besides the blinking green light on the smoke detector. Usually, I would keep my blinds closed throughout the day, but what I noticed is.. it didn’t motivate me to do anything but chill.
Natural lighting is proven to enhance your creativity, mood, and overall performance. If you think about it, that’s why walks and outdoor activities are so appealing and beneficial for our mental health. While this may be a small act, small things can also have a huge impact. Since I’ve allowed more natural light into my space it’s made me feel more optimistic and encouraged. It made me appreciate the beauty in my space more. Again, small but helpful.
I also let light into my life by truly allowing the good to flow to me. I welcome positivity, faith, optimism, and God’s wisdom. Lastly, I keep my surroundings light. My friends and social media feed are motivating, inspiring, and positive. I removed toxicity and anything that made me feel bad. I can’t heal without allowing the space to do so.
Getting Active
This also took me a while to incorporate into my routine and I still do miss a day or three at the gym but that’s okay. All movement is good movement. So even if I don’t make it and decide to walk or dance around my apartment, that is enough. I moved my body.
Moving my body and getting active is a huge mood and confidence booster. I feel undefeated after killing an ab and glute circuit or just getting out and taking the time to move. It also aligns with my goals to get fit and eat healthier. In the past, I made the mistake of being too goal focused, but now I’m more focused on enjoying the process.
Podcast
I’ve been listening to more music and podcast that uplift and motivate me. It’s like being a part of conversations and feeling a sense of community. It’s interesting to hear different perspectives on topics, and growth tips, or to just have a good laugh. I built a list of podcasts that gives me a little bit of everything, here are my favorite pods:
The Friend Zone
For The Healthy Hoes
See The Thing Is
The Read
I’m learning so much about adulthood at 30 it’s mind-blowing. One of the lessons I learned is, you have to stimulate your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self. It all works together so if you do a little for each, you’re already doing great!
Let’s be real though, we all have bad days… that’s ok! I think having a foundation and a variety of ways to cope with life can help us get through. It just starts with one.
I hope you found this blog helpful and wish you peace and success on your journey. Be sure to check out, SELF-CARE INTO YOUR ROUTINE.